Conscious parenting – Emotionality

A global standard on parenting: Regulating your emotions & the effects it has on your children.


The parent’s influence on the child’s psychopathology emphasises on the outcome of the child’s behaviour and development;

Parenting studies have been developing over the last few decades and it focuses on a more global parenting style.


To understand the knitty gritty details behind the movement of being a conscious parent;

Based upon scientific research, we look a little deeper to see what the effects are which contribute to the development of your child’s personality. Fixating on the emotional responses, you can see the influence which our attitude, our emotions and our way of coping with unforeseen, intense situations has on your child; how it influences our offspring in their adulthood. It is essential to analyzing how we learn from our parents to handle our everyday lives as adults. The ongoing parental studies; use our perceptive responses to these unforeseen moments of profound stress; and our child’s response to emotional-regulation and self-regulating as intentional and unintentional strategies. How this influences the child’s personality adaptations, when met with intense emotional everyday stresses, is the principle foundation to understanding your child’s cognitive processing and their emotional response. How the parent’s influence on the child’s psychopathology, emphasises on the outcome of the child’s behaviour and development; investigating parental cognition, beliefs and problem solving as the criteria; shows how the regulation processes have an influence on both parent and child.

The parent’s emotional state

Has been less studied. Unless it concerned states like anxiety or depression, the notion of self-regulation and emotional-regulations are the focus on the parent’s ability to be more conscious,

More aware of their emotional responses to highly stressful situations.

The impact it has on the child’s developing emotional state; how the child self-regulates and adapts emotionally; as an adult, the focus of the parents adaption to regulating their own emotions and behaviour, in reaction to their perception and interpreting their child’s behaviour, while facing the challenges from everyday life loosely translated; the concept of conscious parenting.

The evidence points to the inter-relationship of self-regulating

By the parent. It has a major impression on the child’s development. The effect on our emotional processes has on the child’s emotional state; is how it affects the child in their relational adult life; insisting that we consider the combination of the parents’ behaviour and their own self-regulation; with the attempt to regulate their child’s behaviour, and their interpretation is an intimate and interpersonal transaction between the parent and the child; they both influence each other.

The parent’s efforts to regulate their children’s behaviour

Has been the focus of much research, mainly through the recognition of different parenting strategies and processes, or particular parenting styles, examining the impact of these aspects on our children’s development and adaptation is a crucial process in situations where the child’s temperament is difficult;

The developmental, psychopathology such as chronic illness, the family relationships, economic bereavement;

All of it applies to the daily parental communications. This is where the parent can suppose, determine, recognise and solve a multi level plethora of problems in a highly emotional context. Most human behaviour is purposeful and regulated by our consciousness, these processes of self-monitoring, judgements against the objectives in the environment, all affect reactions and selfsufficiency in the child. It requires establishing cultural goals, the need to plan and solve unexpected problems or barrier’s overseeing the exchange of these societal expectations, we look at the influence it would have on the child. The engagement and carrying out of these intentions changes the effectiveness of the child in adulthood. Selfsufficiency is an attribution, or a cognition associated with emotionality (emotional personality).

Emotionality:  is the unmistakable behavioral and physiological ingredient of emotion. It is a measure of a person’s emotional sympathy to a stimulation. … Psychologists often use Emotionality to use empathy in research.

The entire process triggers intense positive attributions of self challenges, a positive role of emotions such as pride or joy. How these emotions influence the decision making and problem solving in self-regulation is massive.

To view our emotions as the mechanisms of adaption

It helps us identify what is detrimental or helpful to our well-being and general functioning, has been prevalent in the last few decades. Parents have a different complex of negative emotions in response to their child’s problems,

Including shame, guilt, depression and hopelessness. Anxiety, anger, and maintaining control

Of these emotions is the course which nudges the parent into action.  Emotional regulation and self-regulation on the parents behalf has no way of truly defining itself, they will never fully understand their behaviours and attitudes. The effort versus the effortless emotional regulations are even more difficult to assess, but the strategies of reacting versus responding in a social competence factor; these strategies are more suitable than others and the efficiency in the way we handle things, in the moment of those troublesome emotional situations.

Our reactions may lead to our child changing

Or selecting problems in their behaviour. Making the situations more approachable may be effective but difficult to implement and being selective is less adaptive. Deciding whether to avoid or face problems becomes the strategy which leads to distraction from the issue at hand. Selecting our situations is limiting the impact of intense emotions by avoiding them and is effective in maladaptive thought suppression. Although the prolonged worry is maladaptive, it provides a temporary relief; but, the buildup of thoughts

May arouse unwanted emotions and create obsessive compulsive behaviours.

The cognitive and more elaborate way of strategizing proved to be more effective and individuals can change when facing high and low stimuli by applying a more distant, humorous or reappraisal to the situation, may subject themselves to lower the impact but, this processes an opposed and intense avoidant behaviour. Research related to this suppressive expressive behaviour leads to the cognitive resourcing associated with a high tendency of these maladaptive strategies.

Avoiding the situations leads to anxiety.

No matter the distinction between effective and ineffective strategies, their frequency of use and the ability to regulate emotionally with flexibility; characterizes a healthy adaption strategy. Careful application of the individuals emotional regulations are necessary to the parenting context, where these processes occur in the interpersonal and inter-transactional situations is a uniquely private process. One, enacted through specific parent-child interactions in the parent, their emotional regulatory strategies, may be effective in downgrading negative emotions aroused by the recognition of a child’s misbehaviours, disturbances or illnesses, by diminishing the parents’ suffering, is less effective as the strategies obscure the parent from searching for an effective solution to their child’s problems. Cognitive reappraisal is a very effective solution to regulate intense negative emotions and can be counterproductive when these negative emotions, aroused by such situations that may need a concrete solution, decreases the parents’ motivation to immediately address the problem.

The effect of parents’ Emotional Regulating strategies on the parenting behaviour

Showed that a depressed mother’s heightened sensitivity to the child’s reluctance, lead them to direct their own behaviour towards the minimisation of their own negative affect and not to fulfillment of the children’s needs.  These regulation strategies may suggest the existence of some overlapping between the concepts of emotional regulation and coping.

Emotional Regulation and coping are instances integrated in the influence of emotional regulation, but are original forms.

Although it seems compelling to relate the concepts of coping and Emotional Regulating in parenting studies, whether these forms are similar or indistinctive concepts; evidence shows how they relate to one another, which has also been the focus of much controversy. Distinguishing coping from Emotional Regulating strategies, by the predominant focus of coping on decreasing the negative influence, by its emphasis on much longer periods of time. A particular case of coping, as problem-focused or emotionally focused.

We can agree that many forms of coping are very similar

To the principle discussed in the Emotional Regulation. We could consider all strategies of emotional regulation as ways of coping. However, let us say there are some similarities between these two forms; when the parents use coping methods to assess emotional regulation. However, there are some relevant distinctions that may be significant in guiding the research process. On one hand, coping does not rely only on emotional regulation, as much coping is problem focused and oriented towards problem solving.

The definition of coping as a reaction under stress;

Refers to only a subset of self-regulatory processes – those that take place under intensely stressful circumstances – suggests that a personal response reflects a balance between coping and emotional reaction (unregulated or involuntary) responses, could reflect a strong stress reaction and a weak regulatory system, whereas purposeful coping attempts reflect a weak stress response and results in a well-developed life management strategy. There have been enough studies about the consequences of not implementing emotional regulating. However, some studies have highlighted the negative consequences of poor parental emotional self-regulation, or emotional dysregulation, translated in inappropriate emotional expression,

which may contribute to harsh discipline strategies or intense anger, anger or frustration projected.

The repeated explicit expression of related parental depression and aggression, or depression and apprehension, accompanied with externalizing and internalizing children’s problems showed;

Parents with trouble in regulating, or minimizing the expression of aggressive behaviour

Had children with more unstable emotional problems. Difficulties in internal self-regulation, altered in using maladaptive expressive strategies, (throwing things, self-harm, eating, fighting, or sexual behaviors), associated with less emotional availability and receptivity to the child, expressed how dysfunctional patterns of parent-child synergy may result from futile attempts of both adult and child; to balance their negative emotionality, or

how parents revert to negative and physically abusive behaviors when they are angry or emotionally out of control.

In many of these scenes, it is appropriate to notice the weakness or decline of self-regulation efforts, which impacts on the intentions, activities, and relationships. People who are emotionally dysfunctional show methods of behaving and the mismatch between their intentions, responses, and techniques of regulating the expectations of the societal environment.

In these situations we see that they cannot handle their own emotions,

Externalizing a demanding nature with headstrong feelings of aggression, abusive or irritation through harsh discipline, an obvious presentation of shame or depression, disappointment or misery. These projections characterized by harsh and spontaneous disciplinary methods have an over emotional approach which they relate it to the parents’ physical reaction, the child reverts to a higher probability of child abuse and maltreatment.

I was a narcissistic, neglectful mother, I lost custody of my daughter because of my incapability of maintaining my job, my health (addiction), my life, my emotions and I was hypersexual in my 20s. The devastating effects which strict, abusive and emotionally stressful dysfunctional family unit is the reason, as a child, I never tried in school. I was in detention almost every week; I had terrible grades; I hated sporting and social events. I got to high school with a very broken self-image, I bunked, I accumulated 1500 demerits in that year. I had no knowledge that they raised me in a dysfunctional environment, my father was an absent uninvolved (unless to give us hidings), distant father who used the silent treatment and words like disappointment often; my mother, who has custody of my daughter, is narcissistic. These aspects are the reason I am writing about parenting, I have been through the school of science literally and experientially.

Rahmqvist, Johanna & Wells, Michael & Sarkadi, Anna. (2013). Conscious Parenting: A Qualitative Study on Swedish Parents’ Motives to take part in a Parenting Program. Journal of Child and Family Studies. 23. 10.1007/s10826-013-9750-1.


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For more articles:

What makes you angry?

A quick disection of the way we think. All you need to do better is understanding. Once we know better, we do better. Knowing thyself is the real reason we are here, let’s get to know thyself by asking a few questions.

We have focused countless studies on the parent regulating the child’s behaviour; they focus far too little on the behaviour of the child adapting to the intentional or unintentional emotional responses of their parents.

  1. Absolutely 💯….I live by Maya Angelou’s great quote. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, once I understood, I changed.…

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